I figured this would be a good place to discuss all of the strange sensations we get in the hopes someone may have something to compare it to.
Lately since I've stopped journaling I've been working pretty hard at focusing inwardly and just experiencing things. I found that journaling was just making me focus on the experiences in the sense that if something didn't happen that I was doing something wrong and it wasn't a successful day. Lame! lol. Anyway, since I've started doing this I've found that my energy experiences has been more frequent and bizarre.
My most current item that I've been experiencing lately has been the sensation of cool energy leaving or entering (can't tell) my left foot just in the gap between the toes and the ball of my foot. Any thoughts on this? It's random when it happens but when it does I may as well have stuck my foot in a pair of shoes with a hole in it and went walking outside in the snow.
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
Ah forget my signature, I have nothing smart to say...in a few months I will change my opinion probably :~p
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
The unreal hath no being; there is no non-being of the Real; ~Krishna
A stable-minded person will neither hug nor hate the world, he will take things as they come.
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
Your cells; chakras, & nadis breathe. I want to recommend cellular breathing again in light of your recent cold foot experience:)
I will do that. I find it interesting that not long after posting this my right foot started doing it a little. It's still mostly my left foot though.
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
Of course you are an individual, so what comes up for you is individual as well. The more deeply you relax the body with somatic meditation; the more frozen trauma will thaw & rise to the surface. When this happens, move into sitting meditation; be present with whatever comes up without running, pushing it away, judging, or trying to control it.
The intensity which arises wants to resolve itself, if your ego relaxes enough to allow it:)
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
limpidprogress wrote:
The thing about it is that the anger didn't rise up during or moments after the meditation. It was more like an hour later and was in full force for days. I only barely started getting a handle on it yesterday and it seems largely calmed down this morning. I think I am beginning to understand the process of being present though.
Melting the traumas takes time, and it's a background process. After initiating the process, it may work in the background for weeks. The effects may at first be too small to even notice, but they're there .. it's all melting and dissolving gradually.
limpidprogress wrote:
I decided with my celibacy that I would watch myself like a hawk for whenever sexual urges rise up and I'm seeing it happen when it's tiny and it's amazing how easy it is to brush it off when it hasn't turned into a raging torrent.
"like a hawk"
You've hit one of the key practises of the ancient Toltecs, which is described in Castaneda's books. :)They would "stalk", or in other words observe themselves like hunters looking for weak spots (predictable patterns in behaviour, thought processes and energy leaks). They would imagine their death always hunting for them from their left like that. So, in order not to fall prey, they would try to become their own best hunter (outsmarting death).
Though, I would suggest finding a way to utilize the fuel instead of piling it up until it overflows. For me, wearing warm clothes and focusing on the right hemisphere did the trick this time.
The unreal hath no being; there is no non-being of the Real; ~Krishna
A stable-minded person will neither hug nor hate the world, he will take things as they come.
That's interesting that they would treat self focus as a way to fight off death. I've just been making sure that there is no chance that the sexual desires will slip past me unnoticed which I'm hoping will teach my subconscious that it is the same even when sleeping and I'll stop this night discharge I keep running up against. I have sufficient will power when I'm awake but that all seems to be useless when I'm sleeping. Wet dreams suck big time. Since I started this intense focus I've noticed a larger amount of energy building up in my body at different times than I've ever had before. I think it may be why my left foot started doing the cold thing. It has definitely brought to light some little behaviors and thought processes that I've not noticed before. Every single time I've felt the urge to screw around I've also noticed a little bit of depression hiding out behind it. Very fascinating.
Though, I would suggest finding a way to utilize the fuel instead of piling it up until it overflows.
That makes sense. It's hard to feel the energy though without it piling up first. I can't focus when I can't feel it and I can't focus when I feel it. lol. I know that somatic practice helps with the fuel buildup and distribution to some degree. What would you recommend? I've heard of other people taking the energy up their spines and going through the micro cosmic orbit or whatever it's called and converting it into something else.
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
limpidprogress, there is nothing to get a handle on. Whatever sensations...whichever feeling may arise from practice; rage, lust, jealousy, paranoia, etc., allow it the space to exist without meddling in it. To be present, is to witness phenomena without judging, or acting on impulse upon it. Ego, wants to manage reality, & therefore can't truly experience reality. It's like the fullness of reality shows up as guest to your front door, but is only allowed across your threshold if you get to hack off the guests limbs, then boil him in oil:)
We experience the intensity of reality breaking through...interrupting our notions about how things are. The impulse of the ego is to make up stories, or take action to get a handle on things, but what if you chose not to judge; what if you refrained from acting. It takes training, but this is what sitting meditation is for. When you just sit, focusing only on your posture & dan tien, all manner of phenomena arise, but instead of acting out, you stay with the object of focus, the posture. Over time, you begin to see more clearly that things are not really solid, & they begin to loose power over you.
Concerning nocturnal emissions & celibacy; what if you simply stopped worrying about it. Of course practice celibacy if you are moved to, but watching things like a hawk, doesn't sound like it's bringing joy to your life. What if you were to let go, & show yourself compassion? Remember, ejaculation is a stress response in the body; orgasm on the other hand, which you find in the bindus, is a relaxation response:)
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
limpidprogress wrote:
I can really see how the ego wants to control reality by ignoring 99% of it whenever possible and my recent self discovery makes me believe that this new area of focus is allowing me to move past some of the ego. It would seem to me that this is part of the training that you're talking about. I would seriously love these emotional/physical issues to arise during my meditation sessions so that I can actually attribute it to the practice instead of it happening hours and sometimes days after when it's out of sight and mind. It would definitely help me a lot to not get confused about whether it is a result of that or something else in my environment. I want so badly to get rid of any notions I might have but how am I to do that with such a huge gap between the source and subsequent experience? I find myself acting out and getting angry, depressed, or whatever nonsense the sensations end up being so long afterward that it takes me even longer before I make the connection. It makes me wonder how much of the opportunities that arise are being wasted if that's even a thing.
"... watching things like a hawk, doesn't sound like it's bringing joy to your life. "
I don't exactly feel like it's not bringing joy either.
Hmm .. I'm not sure. Could be individual. For me it also hasn't brought joy directly. Years ago it helped me fix my thought-patterns and forgive myself. After that, joy simply resulted from relaxation and "being". Got lazy after a shut-down and currently I'm tackling the thought-patterns again.
limpidprogress wrote:
I can really see how the ego wants to control reality by ignoring 99% of it whenever possible and my recent self discovery makes me believe that this new area of focus is allowing me to move past some of the ego. It would seem to me that this is part of the training that you're talking about. I would seriously love these emotional/physical issues to arise during my meditation sessions so that I can actually attribute it to the practice instead of it happening hours and sometimes days after when it's out of sight and mind. It would definitely help me a lot to not get confused about whether it is a result of that or something else in my environment. I want so badly to get rid of any notions I might have but how am I to do that with such a huge gap between the source and subsequent experience? I find myself acting out and getting angry, depressed, or whatever nonsense the sensations end up being so long afterward that it takes me even longer before I make the connection. It makes me wonder how much of the opportunities that arise are being wasted if that's even a thing.
You could also try reliving the daily events in your mind, while observing the situation and your own actions without interfering. This releases the energy that has been stored as emotions, tension or stress. Recapitulating, also what the ancient stalkers used to do. This way you should be able to get the emotions during practice as well. ;)
In my mind that's one of those practises on level with "White Skeleton Meditation" -- would take several days at full concentration to do properly.
Hmm .. this reminded me of how crystals act in nuclear radiation. With radiation damage, energy is stored in the crystal. Later when you heat the crystal, the stored energy is released and the crystal recovers. That was simplified quite a bit, though.
The unreal hath no being; there is no non-being of the Real; ~Krishna
A stable-minded person will neither hug nor hate the world, he will take things as they come.
It's all fun and games until you lose an eye; then it's all fun and games in the dark.
Regarding "White Skeleton Meditation", I always feel I'm not doing it correctly. Even though it has an effect, I think I need a lot stronger concentration ability for it.
The unreal hath no being; there is no non-being of the Real; ~Krishna
A stable-minded person will neither hug nor hate the world, he will take things as they come.