You're in love with him. You think they are the next best thing to the latest gadget invented by Apple. You get butterflies in your tummy when you are with him. There is just something about him. But wait, there's something about him alright. Something that just isn't right and this is the first time he pulled that stunt. It's becoming more and more common for him to do bizarre things. His true colours might actually be shining through. Could this guy be a narcissist? The man of your dreams? It started out all so good, how could it be going so bad so fast.
Well before you chuck him to the curb, let's see if he has any of these warning signs that most narcissists do. Once we've established he's checked off a few, then it's time to make a decision.
1. It's all about me.
I mean him. Not you. Ever. They love to talk about themselves, over and over again. All day, every day. They love themselves very much remember, which isn't an entirely bad thing but they love themselves so much that all they ever want to talk about is themselves. They are not interested in including you or your day into their conversation whatsoever. They don't really care how your day was. It had nothing to do with them, why should they care? Yawn.
2. And talking about loving themselves.
Oh they do that. Self-love is a very admiral trait to have, without a doubt, but there's a fine line between having self-love and being self-absorbed. Loving yourself is always a good thing and you should love yourself first. But not only. When you love yourself so much that you no longer care about others or even love others, then you are officially a narcissist. If you are dating a person like this, recognize that their love for themselves will always overshadow the love for you.
3. Master of manipulation.
Oh yes, they are masters at making you do or say anything they want you to and if you don't you won't hear the end of it. The only way they know how to get so called weak people (which they actually prey on) to do things for them is to manipulate them. Otherwise no one could be bothered to do anything for this self absorbed egotistical jerk. They will make sure you feel so bad for them that you have no choice but to do what they ask of you, whether you want to or not.
4. Woe is me.
It's a constant pity party. Their life is full of drama. Negative drama. They crave attention and when they don't have anything good going on in their life to garner positive attention, they will shift into negative mode for attention. Remember, it's always about them, whether good or bad, they don't care. Heaven forbid if you are ignoring them or giving them all the praise and honours they feel they deserve. A temper tantrum may ensue here.
5. Oh how charming.
They can be very charming, especially if they really like you. If you are a beauty on the outside, you are arm candy to them and they will dote on you until they are certain they have secured you into their lives. They will romance you, make you feel like you are the most special person in the whole world, but it is all to their benefit. Once they have secured you and quite possibly get bored of you, their colours come through. They love to have a partner, for their own display, but they don't make very good partners. If you are ready and ok with being a trophy wife, then you might do well with a narcissist. I doubt it though. Their self- absorbed ways would drive anybody crazy.
If you see any or all of these signs in the person you are dating right now, then you could possibly be dating a narcissist. Though, not entirely bad people, their good qualities do come out sometimes. I mean, there was a reason you fell in love with him in the first place, right? It may not be easy to deal with a narcissist but it's not impossible either. Put your foot down when you have to, walk away when necessary and speak your mind when you have to. If you can handle, and not be bothered by, their behaviour, then you're a trooper!
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