If you're improving your life, you probably ask yourself whether you should keep the same friends as you evolve. It would be fine if they're evolving at the same pace as you, but what if they're not?
Stepping up, making friends with more successful people can feel like a huge jump out of your comfort zone. Maybe you wonder whether you're ready for the kinds of friends that would inspire you.
In this article, I want to share two principles that can help you start making friends with more evolved people.
It Starts Between Your Ears
What I mean here is that it starts in your mind. It starts with a simple mindset shift.
We are creatures of habit; most of what we do is part of habit. Because we tend to have the same types of friends, and have the same kind of social life, over long periods of time, we tend to think that it's fixed. We tend to assume that things will always work like they did in the past.
Especially socially, we just assume that we're always going to have somewhat the same kind of social life, unless we achieve a huge amount of success.
The truth is that you can have influence over your social life, today! Not 5 years from now, not when you're become a superstar, or when you finally make your first million… you can have an impact, starting today.
No matter where you start, no matter what your past was, you can have an impact – no one will storm out on you to get you to behave. Most people won't even notice the progress you're making, they'll just unconsciously start to see you as a more socially successful person – as if you always were.
So the mindset to take is to know you're already-ready to improve your social life, and hang out with better people, and that you can give yourself permission to do it.
You're Better Off If These Two Get Along
You generally don't have to "fire" any current friends just because they're not inspiring enough. That said, if someone is having too much of a negative impact on your psychology, they should be up on the could-let-go-off list.
But the best way to improve who you accept in your social life is to have your goals as a reference. In other words, you're better off if your goals and your social life get along.
When you project your life in the near future, you kinda know what your goals are; you know what kind of things you want to be doing. What you need to do is ask yourself: "What kind of friends would inspire and help the person I'm about to become?"
Very often, the answer isn't that far-fetched. If you're planning to be more successful in a certain art, culture, profession, or hobby, there is certainly a community of people who would love to meet others that have that same interest. I suggest you get in touch with that community and get involved in it, especially if you find one with people that meet in the real world, not just online.
When you have friends that are more in tune with your life's purpose and direction, it makes your success journey much less lonely or hard. Scientists are also finding that out . They find that when they're with friends, people tend to be more resolved to take on new challenges.
Bottom Line
The keys to a better social life are to assume you can have an impact on your social life starting today, and that you can make friends with people that are more in-line with your goals and ambitions. It's all starts by giving yourself permission, and understanding that no one can stop you from hanging out with more and more interesting people.
If you want to learn more techniques for overcoming hesitation, meeting new people, and making friends, you can get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter .
See you there,
Paul Sanders
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