I love hanging a funny kitchen towel from my oven door. It sets a mood in my kitchen that tells others to be prepared to laugh. I need a spirit of laughter and hilarity for when I pull a smoking cake out of the oven or burn another meatloaf.  Now that it’s easy to cut vinyl and make funny tea towels or put funny sayings on on kitchen towels, this is a must do project for all crafters. 

Of course, my favorite funny saying is one that I have made into a custom kitchen towel, “Wicked Chickens Lay Deviled Eggs.” 

Because I love you guys so much, I also made a free cut file so you can cut the vinyl to make your own tea towel . If you don’t have a vinyl cutter or you prefer a painted surface rather than vinyl, you can check out this post on how to make a freezer paper stencil . 

Update: I also have a free cut file for “As For Me and My House, We Will Serve Tacos, Salsa 24:7 here.  

If you just like the saying, “Wicked Chickens Lay Deviled Eggs” and print it as a poster, I have that for you too! Grab the free poster Wicked Chickens here. 

Maybe wicked chickens aren’t your style…. In that case, here’s a list of funny sayings for kitchen towels. 

Kitchen Towel Saying Ideas

1. Today’s Menu: Take It or Leave It
2. Chickens, the pet that poops breakfast
3. Last time I cooked hardly anyone got sick
4. They see me rollin’, they be hatin’ (with picture of rolling pin)
5. All about that baste (with picture of turkey being basted)
6. Chop it like it’s hot
7. Whip it good
8. Your  opinion is not part of the recipe
9. Watch me whip
10. Eat, drink, and wear your stretchy pants
11. Who says I can’t cook, you obviously haven’t tasted my cereal.
12. Will sell husband for chocolate. All sales final.
13. My cooking is so awesome, even the smoke alarm cheers me on. (My personal favorite)
14. Blessed are those who do my dishes.
15. Every now and then I fall apart (with a picture of a taco)
16. Kitchen’s closed, this chick’s had it!
17. Many have eaten here. Few have died.
18. I hate 4 letter words – cook, dust, wash, iron
19. I can’t eat another bite. Oh look! There’s pie.
20. It’s either me or the kitchen. We can’t both look good.
21. Homemade with love. In other words, I licked the spoon and kept using it.
22. How do I like my eggs? Um..  In a cake.
23. If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.
24. Today I ate a cupcake without sprinkles. Diets are hard.
25. Complaints to the cook can be hazardous to your health.
26. I want to grow my own food but I can’t find bacon seeds.
27. Cupcakes are muffins that believed in miracles.
28. May the fork be with you.
29. Does this towel smell like chloroform to you?
30. As for me and my house, we will serve tacos. Salsa 24:7
31. Skinny people are easier to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.
32. Don’t make me spit in your food.
33. Abs are great but have you tried donuts?
34. Bed and Breakfast. You make both.
35. I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
36. Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.
37. Never trust a skinny cook.
38. Who fired the maid?
39. Takeout is my favorite recipe.
40.  Mama said there’d be glaze like this (picture of a donut)
41. Make your self at home. Clean my kitchen!
42. Death before decaf.
43. Live every day like it’s Taco Tuesday.

Now you have plenty of great ideas to make your own flour sack towel designs or even sayings for tea towels. 

Whatever flat weave material you choose to use for a custom kitchen towel, you will have the funniest kitchen on the block!

Humor is always good. Especially when you’re a pro at burning things . 

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