You've been beaten down most of your life. You've just got through a bad breakup or lost your job. Whatever the case, you are feeling down and out and like a total failure and loser and you desperately need to pick yourself back up again. Nothing in your life seems to be going right at the moment and you are pretty sure you need a miracle to repair your soul and your self-worth.
Don't despair. I know right now it seems that the whole world is crashing down around you and that there is no hope in sight but there is. We feel all these self-defeating emotions because our inner strength and self-worth just took a shit kicking and we feel hopeless and helpless. Hold on. You will be ok. It may not feel like it right now but hopefully these tips to help you build up your strength will help you.
1. Self-talk.
I can't stress enough how powerful this is. I still do this today and it is very effective. You need to remind yourself that you are worthy and you are going to be ok. You need to tell yourself that you are not a failure and you are a loving beautiful smart ____ __ whatever person. Tell yourself whatever positive uplifting thing works for you but do it and do it often. Yell it if you have to. Make it believable and convincing. You are awesome. Remember that.
2. Hang around people who like to boost your ego.
We all have that o ne friend who loves us like crazy and has no trouble singing songs of praise to us. Go hang out with that person as often as you can handle your ego boosted. Take in all their compliments and feel them deep in your heart. Chances are if your friend is telling you you are awesome, they are probably right.
3. It's ok to break down.
Don't try to hold it together. Have a break down. Cry, scream, throw pillows (not breakable things ever), and do whatever you have to do but go ahead and do it. When you are done and it's all out of your system you will feel like a million dollars and be better able to face your situation or challenge better. You will definitely feel more empowered.
4. Journal.
Take a moment to write out how you feel. All your feelings. Bad good sad happy all of them. Write everything and then read it. Read it slowly and pay attention to it. Releasing all these emotions is key to building more strength. There will be room now for new emotions and they will ultimately be better and stronger ones. Journaling is great therapy, always, for just about everything. If you have never journalled it's time to start.
5. Do one thing that scares you.
You can do this daily or once a week but do it. This exercise is really powerful, scary but it works. Fear is a big factor in keeping our self-worth at an all-time low. Not only our worth but our confidence and our self-esteem too. If you need to kick your self-worth into high gear and get that inner strength at a level it should be challenge yourself to face one fear and knock it out of the park. You can start small and pick a simple one like parallel parking. Simple example but it's just to make a point. You don't do it because you're not good at it and you are afraid you will embarrass yourself so you just avoid it. Next time you are out deliberately find a spot where you have to parallel park and do it. Feel confident and get it done.
Building or rebuilding inner strength will take time. It may not be easy but it will be worth it. You will eventually have a higher level of self-worth and in general feel much better about yourself and more able to handle challenges you will face in the future. Not only that, it will also help you to handle and deal with people in your life that have never treated you with respect or have always taken you for granted or taken advantage of you. As your inner strength grows, these people will get it and they will have more respect for you.
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