Say NO more often

Say NO to boost your self esteem

by Steven Aitchison

Being poor, not doing well at university or school, a poor social life, poor self esteem, lack of confidence as we all know is in your head. You have probably heard it all before but it's worth re-iterating a million times for some people to listen.

All too often we get tied up in thinking that our worth is based on the size of our house or the size of our cars and who we hang around with.

Our worth is based on who we think we are, and our worth is only gauged by ourselves not anybody else.

What we have to do to claim ourselves back is forget what other people are saying about us. By this I mean your social circle, your family's (your true family, the ones that have loved you all your life) opinion of you count and it is good to listen to them as long as you're getting a balanced view and there are no hidden agendas. Forget what you think your co-workers think about you; forget what the people on the street might think about you. Do what you do and be proud.

This is all very well saying this, but how do we stop ourselves from worrying about what other people might think of us?

We have to decide that we care about us. In other words make a conscious decision, and say it. "˜I come first. I have to take care of myself before I can take care of someone else'. Now this will take a long time to engrain this feeling within us. To do this you will need to make a conscious effort to stop at certain things you do and say "˜I come first'. Maybe when your co-worker has asked you do something you are uncomfortable with, stop and say to yourself "˜I come first' and you will find the courage to say no to your co-worker.

Say "˜NO' more often. When that little warning bell goes off in your head and you get that little tingle in your stomach that says "˜something's not right' say "˜NO'. You know what I mean and you will have lots of examples. Well that is the time to say "˜NO'. That little two letter word can send your self esteem soaring and gradually build confidence in you. Now I don't mean you say NO to everything, I don't want you getting the sack or losing out on a relationship or anything like that. Just say NO when it feels right to say NO

When you have practiced those two suggestions above for a few months your self belief will have improved enormously. When this has happened you will find that you will care less about what other people think about you as you are being more congruent with yourself and you will feel comfortable with yourself.

Let me know if you have any stories about saying NO and how it has changed your life.

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